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Quick Joke

Discussion in 'Open Discussion (Work-safe)' started by LoKyBuckeye, Jul 1, 2004.

  1. LoKyBuckeye

    LoKyBuckeye I give up. This board is too hard to understand.

    No job... I'm bored.

    A woman suspects her husband is cheating on her.
    One day she calls home and a strange woman answers.

    Wife: Who is this?
    Maid: This is the maid.
    Wife: We don't have a maid.
    Maid: I was hired this morning by the man of the house
    Wife: Well, this is his wife. Is he there?
    Maid: He's upstairs in the bedroom with someone who
    I assumed was his wife.

    The wife is fuming. She says to the maid,
    "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?

    Maid: Of course! What will I have to do?
    Wife: I want you to take my gun from the desk
    and shoot him and the woman he's with.

    The maid puts the phone down. The wife hears footsteps,
    then gunshots, then more footsteps.

    Maid: What do I do with the bodies?
    Wife: Just drag them out and throw them in the swimming pool.
    Maid: There's no pool here.

    A long pause....................................

    Wife: Is this 832-4821?

  2. BuckeyeNation27

    BuckeyeNation27 Goal Goal USA! Staff Member

  3. gbearbuck

    gbearbuck Herbie for President

    horrible, but funny.

    LoKy, are you still running the theatre in town? or when you said no job, you ment not working today?
  4. LoKyBuckeye

    LoKyBuckeye I give up. This board is too hard to understand.

    Nope... I am no longer there. To make a long (very long) story short.... A few months ago I found out that my top assistant was screwing with payroll (shaving overtime from the rest of my staff) and taking some money. Trying to save his job he, of course, said he had the ok from me to do it. After 10+ years of a spotless record I was being targeted and investigated, no big deal as I had done nothing wrong. After months of investigating nothing was found but I was told that I have to be hiding something. My boss came to town on Monday to call me a liar and a thief to my face and told that he will catch me. This is a new boss that I have only had for 6 months who has been bitter since he found out that I was the first choice for his job but turned it down due to not wanting to travel (he is based out of Chicago) as I have kids and would like to see them grow up. Being that my sanity is more important to me I walked out on Tuesday morning (srewing them for Spider-Man 2 :) )

    The funny part was is that I was already looking for another job and I got an offer this morning. Not sure if I'll take it because we would have to move to Florida (Sarasota).

    Any hoo... I'm unemployed, stress free and will have a 4th of July off for the first time in 8 years. :)
  5. FKAGobucks877

    FKAGobucks877 The Most Power-Drunk

    My condolences, LoKy. Or congratulations? Either way, it sounds like a bunch of BS, and I'm sorry you had to go through it. See me if you need a letter of recommendation. I'm a grate speller, and never make any errers in leters of recommendashun.
  6. LoKyBuckeye

    LoKyBuckeye I give up. This board is too hard to understand.

    Thanks FKA... it would be congradulations! I was so stressed that it was effecting my family so my wife and made the decision togther on what I should do. I'll take some time off and take it easy for a few weeks. This will be my first time without a job since I was 16.
  7. gbearbuck

    gbearbuck Herbie for President

    sorry you had to go through that... the theif will get caught sooner or later...

    enjoy the fourth... I'm sure you'll find another job, as it is, it is nice to have an offer on the table... worst case you know you could be employed in FL...
  8. buckeyebri

    buckeyebri 40 Days in the Hole

    Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking...

    Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship.
    "Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.

    "First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing."
    And they did.

    "Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing."

    And they did.

    "Now we eat everybody."
    And they did.

    When they were both gorged, the son asked,
    "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first?
    Why did we swim around and around them?"

    His wise father replied,

    "Because they taste better without the [Mark May] inside!"

    No need to thank me, I just try to learn something new every day.
  9. Zurp

    Zurp I have misplaced my pants.

    Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?

    She was a woman.

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