Tales of Cheapness

[Buck Nasty]

This came up the other day in a thread. It could be you, a family member, or friend who go to extreme measures to avoid paying full price for anything. I have a friend who is a classic, and he shared this story with me today at lunch about his new method for purchasing shoes. I thought I would share it and others could tell some about themselves or people they know.

He buys all of his shoes at the DSW Shoe warehouse, I don't know if he figured this out by accident, or planned it, but this is now how he buys his shoes.

Goes to DSW and buys the shoes that he likes, takes them home, but does not wear them. Puts a large scuff on the upper somewhere that can be removed with some effort and polish. Returns them to DSW for a refund. Goes back 2-3 days later and buys the same exact pair off the Clearance Rack for 40-60% off becuase they are damaged.

Insane that someone would go to these extremes to save some $ but I am sure that everyone knows someone like them, or is them.

 

[AKAK]

Similar kind of thing.

This was an "accident" but... A buddy of mine decides he wants to paint his living room...

So he picks out a color at Lowe's.... and has them mix up a gallon or two at the paint counter.

He takes the paint to the checkout.. and when he gets there he realizes that he has forgotten the Lowe's Gift cad he was going to use to pay for it. So he told the cashier, Hey, i want to run home real quick and get this card, so if they cold hold the paint at the paint counter, he'd be back.

Well- this was at about 9am... now my friend doesn't really like painting or any kind of manual labor... his wife was in Cali on Business and his son was with his Grandparents... so... he's "Unsupervised". He goes home... does some stuff... calls a buddy of his... goes to lunch... has a few beers... and then finally goes back to Lowe's around 3.

By then, they gave up on him and had marked his $19/gallon paint down to $5/Gallon and just left it by the paint counter.

So he bought it.

Nasty- Tell your friend that he needs to use cash the first time he buys the shoes, or he'll get flagged as a abusive returner... or don't tell him... that would be more funny.

 

[coxew]

My dad has some good ones of a guy he used to work with.

-They would go out to grab a burger for lunch, after eating half of it, he'd pull out a couple of his own hairs and put them under the bun, then take it up to the counter and would get a new one.
-My dad was replacing a deck at his house. They tore down the existing deck and he was pulling the nails out and trying to straighten them up so they could be reused on the new deck.

 

[DEBuckeye]

I grew up in Michigan, where we had a 10 cent refund on aluminum cans or bottles. My Dad was a University professor, and when he was on campus he would pick up stray cans in classrooms, on the gournd, etc. He would carry around plastic bags in his coat pockets so he was always prepared to collect. He got to the point where he knew which buildings were best, and even knew of other people (the competition) who did the same thing.

I always gave him shit about being a bag lady or something, untill I found out how much he made in a semester. He used "can money" to fund trips to visit me at OSU or my sister at Purdue for the weekend (including football tix), he would pay for a little weekend trip for him and my Mom, and he also bought a home gym weight set. All with can money. It's still a good "cheap" story, but I quit giving him shit about it....


Also:
I knew a guy who used to buy stuff at the grocery store (non-perishable items) using coupons, and then he'd go to another store and return the stuff for full price. He always went to the same store chain, and would go at busy times so the customer seervice people were kind of rushed and wouldn't question him.

All of this for a few cents per item.

 

[NJ-Buckeye]

not sure this is cheap or just creative... know of two guys that have cable modems with wireless routers/access points... then has an agreement with neighbors who have wireless stations that can use his hub... so each ends up paying about $15 instead of $45 a month

and DEB... interesting story of Dad... my family had no money... so only way I got candy was pop bottles as a kid... those 5 cent qtr bottle finds were like gold.. cuz the candy was only 5 cents then... I know... I know... that was before ALL you guys were born... turds...

and as far as the devious stuff.. scuffing stuff... my mother and all her catholic drilling... fully instilled the guilt complex that when you do stuff like that... it comes back to cost you double or worse.. somewhere else...

 

[Deety]

They would go out to grab a burger for lunch, after eating half of it, he'd pull out a couple of his own hairs and put them under the bun, then take it up to the counter and would get a new one.

I saw a kid training for this yesterday. He would eat half his cookie, drop it on the floor, and take it to an adult, who would then bring him a whole cookie. Did it four or five times that I saw. Pretty smart kindergartener.

Disclaimer: I do not condone the fraudulent acquisition of baked goods. Still funny, though.

 

[gbearbuck]

I think some of those stories aren't being cheap... it is stealing.

I can be very frugal at times.... however I don't cheat/steal to do it. If you buy something and "scuff" it. You damaged it and you shouldn't return it. To do otherwise is stealing in my book...

 

[exhawg]

I worked in a computer lab in grad school and we would raid the lost and found if something wasn't claimed within a few weeks. The thing I could never understand is people would lose car keys and not find them. How do you get home if you don't have keys?
I've never done anything to scam stuff for cheep on purpose. One time I bought 5 pairs of foakleys on the web. I only paid for 2 of them and the other 3 were free with a deal. They ended up being out of stock on one of the ones that I bought so I sent the company an email and asked them to refund me for the one pair of glasses. They ended up refunding everything so I got 4 pairs of glasses for free.

 

[MolGenBuckeye]

My wife works for DSW. Instead of working overtime, she turns in people who damage merchandise. :)

 

[BB73]

Long ago when I was a lad, my friends and I were pissed when the price of canned pop went to 20 cents in the machines. Like I said, long ago.

So we took pennies and ground them down using a hand-powered grinder. We'd get tired and take turns doing it. After about a half hour, the three of us would have 6 ground down pennies, and we'd go to the gas station and get 3 cans of pop for 2 cents each.

Yes, it was stealing. But we worked a half an hour to gain a total of 54 cents; to us it was the principle of not paying the higher prices.

 

[AJHawkfan]

When I was in college, niether my roommates or I had a VCR, but 2 of the guys had accounts at Best Buy, who had a 30 day return policy. They would go buy one, charge it to their credit card, and save the box. 28 days later, they'd box it up and return it and the other one would buy one. We test drove a lot of free VCR's that year.

Another good one is with Columbia House. We'd fill out the inital paperwork for 11 for $0.01 or whatever, but use a fake name at our address. We'd get the CD's, and then a few weeks later, we'd get a bill in the fake guys' name. We tracked down their 1-800 number and would call them, explaining that we were college students who had just moved into the apartment and that there was no one with that name living at that address. They'd just tell us to disregard the notice then. The really moronic thing was that 3 of us were legitimate club members.

We also got credit cards using fake names, fake SS#'s, fake incomes and background histories, but never had the stones to use them anywhere.

 

[AKAK]

Ahh... BB73 comes in with destruction of government property and AJ HawkFan goes Mail Fraud... Is that being cheap or is that committing a federal offense.

 

[BuckeyeNation27]

i cut off my finger to get a free bowl of chili

 

[AKAK]

Too bad you're not a leper, then you could get free shit all the time.

 

[AJHawkfan]

Ahh... BB73 comes in with destruction of government property and AJ HawkFan goes Mail Fraud... Is that being cheap or is that committing a federal offense.

Hey, it wasn't me. It was that dang Roscoe Picotrain or one of those other guys who used to live in our apartment.
:)