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What's wrong with kids these days?

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exhawg

exhawg

Mirror Guy
Staff member
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101008/ap_on_re_us/us_bullying_one_town

By MEGHAN BARR, Associated Press Writer ? Fri Oct 8, 10:05 am ET
MENTOR, Ohio ? Sladjana Vidovic's body lay in an open casket, dressed in the sparkly pink dress she had planned to wear to the prom. Days earlier, she had tied one end of a rope around her neck and the other around a bed post before jumping out her bedroom window.
The 16-year-old's last words, scribbled in English and her native Croatian, told of her daily torment at Mentor High School, where students mocked her accent, taunted her with insults like "Slutty Jana" and threw food at her.
It was the fourth time in little more than two years that a bullied high school student in this small Cleveland suburb on Lake Erie died by his or her own hand ? three suicides, one overdose of antidepressants. One was bullied for being gay, another for having a learning disability, another for being a boy who happened to like wearing pink.
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I might be taking the wrong side of this argument, but these kids need to grow a thicker skin. There were bullies back when I was in school and nobody was killing themselves over it. I think the real problem here is that kids grow up thinking they are special and everything will be good. When they do hit some adversity they don't know how to react to it. It seems to be a generation thing with too may parents wanting to be their kids friends rather than parents.
I will not allow my unborn daughter to be like these douchebag kids that are offing themselves. She will have rules and there will be punishment for breaking them. I will get one of my Dad's old principal paddles and hang it on the wall like he did for me. One whack a year kept me in line. There will be no video games or social networking under my roof. Whatever the Facebook of 15 years from now looks like it won't be getting through my firewall. She will be heavily involved in sports. First, because she is going to be a giant. Second, because that is going to be the easiest way to get college paid for (like me and every male blood relative I have). I don't know what she'll do basketball, volleyball, golf, swimming, etc. Her choice but she will be doing something. Part of the problem with a lot of these kids is that they have too much free time on their hands.
Back to the article. My high school had 4-5 students die during my senior year. IIRC 2 in a car accident on Spring Break (something else my daughter will not be doing in High School), 1 or 2 in a fire after a night of drinking(ditto), and 1 choked himself while masturbating(triple ditto). All of these could be classified death while having a good time. I never heard that parents wanted to file a lawsuit against the school because they didn't stop the kids from planning these activities. There will always be bullies and everyone gets bullied at some time, but maybe these kids that are killing themselves just aren't cut out for our society. If you can't take a bully how are you going to take it when you get passed over for a job after school. Sometimes you have to fail several times before you succeed. If you kill yourself after failing once or twice maybe the rest of us are better off. Maybe these parent's should be looking in the mirror instead of looking at the school for blame.
Please don't ding me, I might kill myself and then my wife will sue BP.
 
I would caution you by saying that, since you don't know these people who have committed suicide, you may want to lessen your judgment on them. I don't believe it's ever a whimsical consideration for anyone to take their own life.

In this girl's particular case, who knows what else she may have had to deal with in Croatia.

When you become a parent, I would bet dollars to pesos that there will be a great many things that happen throughout the life of your child that will change your perspectives.
 
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It's hard to understand how things feel, unless you're in others shoes. For example... Kenny McKinley who decided to off himself, after a bout with depression a few weeks back. My reaction was, unfreakin real, this guy has his whole life ahead of him, and he is an NFL player, something most would kill for...amazing.

Well, low and behold I had a Muay Thai fight shortly after, and I injured my leg. Decided to tough it out for a few days, which was the wrong move, and have been on cruthes ever since. Other than work, I just sit there... same four walls. I get calls from people on the weekend, wondering if I'm up for going out... not happening. I started to understand the frustrating depression he could have gone through. Now, I obviously think he had many other issues, to go and off himself... but, I now understand, even if only a really small percent, of how down and in the dumps one can get.

These kids go through it day in and day out. In your days there was no social media or cell phones... things are just more in your face these days with no escape. It's a shame that kids feel the need to do such a thing.
 
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OhioState001;1788006; said:
Im guessing you were the one bullying and not the one being bullied.
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Kind of in the middle. Too big to get bullied and too nice to be an ass for no reason (most of the time). Anyone who has played college football has probably been bullied as some point. I would guess every school has some level of Freshmen hazing.
 
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exhawg;1788002; said:
I will not allow my unborn daughter to be like these douchebag kids that are offing themselves. She will have rules and there will be punishment for breaking them.
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15067891.jpg



Ja....Wurd!
 
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exhawg;1788002; said:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101008/ap_on_re_us/us_bullying_one_town



I might be taking the wrong side of this argument, but these kids need to grow a thicker skin. There were bullies back when I was in school and nobody was killing themselves over it. I think the real problem here is that kids grow up thinking they are special and everything will be good. When they do hit some adversity they don't know how to react to it. It seems to be a generation thing with too may parents wanting to be their kids friends rather than parents.
I will not allow my unborn daughter to be like these douchebag kids that are offing themselves. She will have rules and there will be punishment for breaking them. I will get one of my Dad's old principal paddles and hang it on the wall like he did for me. One whack a year kept me in line. There will be no video games or social networking under my roof. Whatever the Facebook of 15 years from now looks like it won't be getting through my firewall. She will be heavily involved in sports. First, because she is going to be a giant. Second, because that is going to be the easiest way to get college paid for (like me and every male blood relative I have). I don't know what she'll do basketball, volleyball, golf, swimming, etc. Her choice but she will be doing something. Part of the problem with a lot of these kids is that they have too much free time on their hands.
Back to the article. My high school had 4-5 students die during my senior year. IIRC 2 in a car accident on Spring Break (something else my daughter will not be doing in High School), 1 or 2 in a fire after a night of drinking(ditto), and 1 choked himself while masturbating(triple ditto). All of these could be classified death while having a good time. I never heard that parents wanted to file a lawsuit against the school because they didn't stop the kids from planning these activities. There will always be bullies and everyone gets bullied at some time, but maybe these kids that are killing themselves just aren't cut out for our society. If you can't take a bully how are you going to take it when you get passed over for a job after school. Sometimes you have to fail several times before you succeed. If you kill yourself after failing once or twice maybe the rest of us are better off. Maybe these parent's should be looking in the mirror instead of looking at the school for blame.
Please don't ding me, I might kill myself and then my wife will sue BP.
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I will not allow my daughter or my son to bully kids while at the same time ensuring that they have every opportunity to develop a strong character and will to ignore the idiots that inhabit every corner of this planet.
 
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exhawg;1788017; said:
Kind of in the middle. Too big to get bullied and too nice to be an ass for no reason (most of the time). Anyone who has played college football has probably been bullied as some point. I would guess every school has some level of Freshmen hazing.
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there is a huge difference between hazing and bullying. hazing is a rite of passage as one enters a group on is or her own volition. one expects to be hazed. heck, attempted entrance into a group that is known to haze is a complicit endorsement of one's own hazing (within limits, of course). bullying, on the other hand, shows complete disregard for the victim. there is nothing inherently positive that the victim achieves by being bullied.
 
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starBUCKS;1788015; said:
It's hard to understand how things feel, unless you're in others shoes. For example... Kenny McKinley who decided to off himself, after a bout with depression a few weeks back. My reaction was, unfreakin real, this guy has his whole life ahead of him, and he is an NFL player, something most would kill for...amazing.

Well, low and behold I had a Muay Thai fight shortly after, and I injured my leg. Decided to tough it out for a few days, which was the wrong move, and have been on cruthes ever since. Other than work, I just sit there... same four walls. I get calls from people on the weekend, wondering if I'm up for going out... not happening. I started to understand the frustrating depression he could have gone through. Now, I obviously think he had many other issues, to go and off himself... but, I now understand, even if only a really small percent, of how down and in the dumps one can get.

These kids go through it day in and day out. In your days there was no social media or cell phones... things are just more in your face these days with no escape. It's a shame that kids feel the need to do such a thing.
Click to expand...

Yeah, how about the football player from Penn that committed suicide and their is/was thought that the repeated head trauma might have had a part in it. I don't know that we know enough about suicide to be sure that there aren't some factors in ones make up that make one more vulnerable to commit suicide then others. The brain is a very complicated thing.

To the OP, I think it might be a little bit early to label your daughter a scholarship caliber athlete, but it is good to get her involved in things, you should present her with a wide variety of things to choose from and not necessarily just sports though.
 
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You failed to quote the part exhawg where the students who bullied the Croatian girl walked up to her casket and were laughing at the funeral.

Kids these days are absolutely vicious and I blame one thing, poor parenting.
 
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To chime in here, I happen to live in Mentor. We have lived in Mentor for 16 years now and my sons go to Mentor (one in 11th grade one in 8th grade). I don't need to read that Yahoo article as I have known this story for many years now. I probably know much more about this than any article that can be found on the internet.

One of the kids who committed suicide was my neighbor...across the street and 2 houses down. He was bullied for being somewhat effeminate, gentle, and going to the beat of a different drummer. Sadly, he was bullied the most in a math class where the teacher did nothing to really stop it. One day at school, when one of the bullies at school told him to go home and shoot/kill himself because no one would miss him, well that is what he did. That day, my sons and I were just leaving to go to the club to workout when we heard a shot, then saw his sister running out of the house hysterical. A day I doubt that I will ever forget.

It was his family that filed the first lawsuit. They were not seeking any monetary damages from the district. They wanted the district to acknowledge its shortcomings, implement an anti-bullying program, and possibly investigate the actions (non-actions) of a certain math teacher.

Did this boy, who was intelligent but not like everyone else, deserve the bullying treatment he received at school? No. Could the math teacher have been more proactive and actually acted like an adult rather than possibly enjoying the bullying...maybe reliving his high school days? Yes!

As an adult one knows, or I should say that one should know, the harmful effects of bullying and do whatever to prevent it. It is not acceptable to turn the other way and say that kids were bullied years ago and thicker skin is required.

As a result of this Mentor adopted an anti-bullying program. My sons have been through it...my younger one, obviously at a younger age. Now my 8th grader is about 5'10" and 200 pounds. He is a football player too. He didn't learn about anti-bullying from the program at Mentor, he learned it first at the at-home-parenting program by mrs. buckiprof and myself. However, what the anti-bullying program at Mentor has done to him is to not turn a blind eye to bullying. He has stopped bullying on more than one occasion in the past couple of years. He is not the only one who does that either. Most of his peers are sensitive to the evils of bullying and act accordingly.

So on the one hand I am happy to see the kids be proactive in policing themselves and trying to keep bullying in check. On the other hand, it should have been more closely monitored by adults, adults that we entrust to not only educate our children but to also keep them in a safe environment.

That neighbor of mine had a bright future. Everyday I see the house and I still think of him. I also wonder if there was a way that I could have reached out to him more that could have prevented this from happening. And then I think, "I am only a neighbor. How do his parents manage to go on with their lives?!"

I wish you the best of luck in parenting exhawg. It is the most demanding, and by far the most rewarding, "job" ever. I use to have different thoughts about parents and child rearing before I had kids. While I tend to agree that some kids today are messed up because of a lack of parenting, I know the situation at Mentor. I know what it was like before the anti-bullying campaign hit the district. I know how some of the teachers were when it came to bullying. I heard stories before any of the suicides started. These parents have looked in the mirror and punished themselves many times over. Trust me, it is fair to ask the district to do the same.
 
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Thump;1788154; said:
You failed to quote the part exhawg where the students who bullied the Croatian girl walked up to her casket and were laughing at the funeral.

Kids these days are absolutely vicious and I blame one thing, poor parenting.
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Yeah, Mentor school district is absolutely out of control too. I know someone who went to Mentor and he had similar stories to share (5 years since he's graduated)

When 4 kids off themselves in 2 years at one school it's about time for an administrative shake up? I understand that parents should be raising their kids better but the administrators still have a responsibility to maintain discipline and prevent that sort of thing in their halls and teachers not complying with the program need to be sent packing too.

I mean I'm only 5 years removed from high school and yeah we had our cliques and everything and people would make fun of others behind their backs to their friends but I don't ever recall an instance of someone actually being openly taunted verbally much less physically bullied at the school. I know my sister who is in junior high has talked about all the anti bullying stuff that they go over with them during the year, and when I visit the school there are a number of signs posted up to remind them about it.
 
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