I'm sorry, but you can't have more toilet paper

[Gatorubet]

I don't wad or fold. I mummify.

Wrap your required amount of TP around your hand. Remove from hand, and you have a firm foundation with which to wipe. Does not tear, does not bunch, does not leave any unfortunate gaps.

It's science.

After you wipe your butt with your hand, what do you do with the paper mummy thing?

 

[PlanetFrnd]

I don't wad or fold. I mummify.

Wrap your required amount of TP around your hand. Remove from hand, and you have a firm foundation with which to wipe. Does not tear, does not bunch, does not leave any unfortunate gaps.

It's science.

Do you just travel with a spare plunger too?

 

[ulukinatme]

The mummified toilet paper hand technique seems like an awful lot of waste. Toilet paper doesn't grow on trees, you know!

 

[knapplc]

The mummified toilet paper hand technique seems like an awful lot of waste. Toilet paper doesn't grow on trees, you know!

It's the opposite of waste, since you don't need as much. I'm not completely encasing my hand, I'm just using my hand to make a well-designed pad structure.

Back when I used to be a wadder I used more paper, maybe twice as much. And every once in a while that wad would not be properly made and I would have an unfortunate contact. Nobody wants an unfortunate contact. We're not making scat films here.

 

[scarletmike]

Folding works just as well as your mummification, unless you're using the cheap single-ply shit at work/in public places. I'm not sure I use less, but it feels like it.

 

[FCollinsBuckeye]

I don't wad or fold. I mummify.

Wrap your required amount of TP around your hand. Remove from hand, and you have a firm foundation with which to wipe. Does not tear, does not bunch, does not leave any unfortunate gaps.

It's science.

As a folder, I will attempt this tonight. Very excited.

After you wipe your butt with your hand, what do you do with the paper mummy thing?

[quote='BusNative;194941;8]Do you just travel with a spare plunger too?[/quote]

The mummified toilet paper hand technique seems like an awful lot of waste. Toilet paper doesn't grow on trees, you know!

I <3 BP

 

[knapplc]

Folding works just as well as your mummification, unless you're using the cheap single-ply shit at work/in public places. I'm not sure I use less, but it feels like it.

Probably. The benefit of mummification is speed. I can wrap my hand in less than a second, while folding takes several seconds to do correctly.

When you're in a public restroom like, say, the one on this floor of my building, the environment is certifiably toxic. Every second counts when you're holding your breath for a dook.

I don't know what it's like at your work, but at mine the men's restroom is a miasma of horrific smells the likes of which would choke a sow. Speed is crucial, and every second less I can spend in there the better.

 

[Bleed S & G]

Need help. Diagram?

 

[Saw31]

What a shitty thread...

 

[BB73]

Probably. The benefit of mummification is speed. I can wrap my hand in less than a second, while folding takes several seconds to do correctly.

This does explain why 4000 years later, those Egyptian guys look like crap.

 

[FCollinsBuckeye]

This does explain why 4000 years later, those Egyptian guys look like crap.

Tut tut. Why must you always try and Ramses jokes down our throats? Given yours and Script's posts, it must be a quality you old Gizas share.

 

[BB73]

Tut tut. Why must you always try and Ramses jokes down our throats? Given yours and Script's posts, it must be a quality you old Gizas share.

I'm not a Ra-Ra guy that's in de-Nile or running a pyramid scheme, I'm a pharaoh man that knows that my mummified asp Sphinx as bad as some of my jokes.

 

[Bleed S & G]

All I know is, I tried to wrap my hand and used way to much TP, didn?t trust my creation and abandoned ship. Still waiting on diagrams or a walk-thru.. any help or direction is appreciated.

 

[ScriptOhio]

 

[DubCoffman62]

They should make the T.P. pay per use. They do that all over Singapore and Malaysia for "city run" public bathrooms. Or they collect a tiny fee (20 cents or so) at the door upon entry.

I remember back in the day when there were still public stalls that cost a dime to enter, there used to be a rhyme "here i sit brokenhearted, payed my dime but only farted".