Man arrested for sex with picnic table

[Mr_Burns]

LINK

Ohio man facing charges for having sex with a picnic table


(BELLEVUE, OH) -- Police say a man in Bellevue, Ohio was caught on tape having sex with a picnic table.
Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.

The neighbor -- who wishes to remain anonymous -- saw Price walk out onto his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole in the umbrella to have sex.

...cont'd

No word on whether the man and the picnic table cuddled afterwards.

 

[MolGenBuckeye]

I've heard of tabling motions, but this is ridiculous!

 

[BB73]

He thought he had "good wood" until he got splinters!






I know it's a metal table, but that ruins the joke, so fuck it.

 

[BUCKYLE]

People in Ohio get bored during the off-season.

 

[Fungo Squiggly]

If having sex with my picnic table is wrong, I don't want to be right.

 

[BB73]

Who could resist these sexy legs and all those holes, really? They're just asking for it.

 

[Fungo Squiggly]

Who could resist these sexy legs and all those holes, really? They're just asking for it.

H-A-W-T!!!

 

[BB73]

If having sex with my picnic table is wrong, I don't want to be right.

The article said it was between 10:30 a.m. and noon on March 14th.

You had only 1 BP post between 10:42 a.m. and noon that day, so there was plenty of time for you to screw your table 4 times!

 

[AKAK]

He thought he had "good wood" until he got splinters!






I know it's a metal table, but that ruins the joke, so fuck it.

Wrong.

The correct joke was:

"Wicker? I hardly know her."

 

[Taosman]

He must have been really, really .....wait for it....board!

 

[Fungo Squiggly]

The article said it was between 10:30 a.m. and noon on March 14th.

You had only 1 BP post between 10:42 a.m. and noon that day, so there was plenty of time for you to screw your table 4 times!

I have no further comment on these allegations. Please direct all further inquiries to my attorney.

 

[cincibuck]

Table manners... goodness, what would Emily Post say about this?

Table grade?

 

[Buckeyedynasty]

I'd hit it........a picnic table? WTF? On second thought no, I wouldn't hit it.

 

[NJ-Buckeye]

the ambiance surrounding the table was just too enticing

so is Thump OK? did he just get probation?
the splinters should have been enuf punishment

 

[Mr_Burns]

Price is married with three school-aged children. Neighbors tell us they're now worried about the kids.

You may ask, "Why should they be worried? His kids aren't household objects."

Think again, here are photos of his children.