Miss Honeypot Hammwallet, the Third would like to welcome viewers to her humble home. Would anyone like a Mint Julep?
The twins, Poonannie and Poonanner were born together but grew apart. Poonannie struggles with a medical condition that makes him smell fishy and he hopes you will be so kind as to ignore it. Poonanner was always a little slow and may be retarded but because her elder sister, Miss Honeypot, controls the family coal fortune, she is well taken care of and is allowed to fly slowly in the driveway on Sundays.
Miss Honeypot and Poonanner hope to breed one day and would prefer that it isn't with Poonannie. It would just be weird. *whisper* He smells like fish*whisper*
Vajaya Vignavierge has matured. She is French and was formally a sexy cave maid for the House of Hammwallet. Now that she is over 20 she has been replaced by a younger au pair and while she feels a little like sending her tendrils out to strangle the woman of the cave, she is instead channeling her energies in seducing Poonannie as a way of revenge.
Cootchie Snorcher joined the Hammwallet household at a young age as an orphan. She worked around the cave, doing whatever she could and became a playmate for the twins after awhile. That is, until her powers began to manifest and random lightning strikes started electrocuting Poonannie in his pond and tiny tempests started forming in teapots and cups whenever she was around. At this time she was banished from the cave until such a time as she could learn to control herself. She wandered the dragon world for quite a few years, hiring herself out as a mercenary and now that she is an adult, she is gainfully employed as a head of the security force for House of Hammwallet. She won't confirm or deny, but it is a popularly held opinion that she bats for the same team, dragonmate-wise.
MailOrderBride died of yellow scale fever. Her mamasan is devastated. Ponnanie doesn't seem to miss her. There was trouble in paradise long before this.
According to payroll, Head of Security Cootchie, just hired herself a Second in Command. Meet Comedorde Lamanta.
Her "lieutenant" goes everywhere with her. They even "cave" together. The work very well together but Comedorde might need some more training. She thinks anyone that talks to Cootchie is a threat! It's almost like she is jealous but that would just be unprofessional.
Uh, Oh. Miss Honeypot wasn't expecting this. It seems MailOrderMammasan has snuck over on a raft and has taken up residence in the "mother in law" cave out back! She doesn't speak a word of English but it doesn't seem to stop her from berating everyone within screeching distance! What is a respectable egg plantation Mistress to do!?
Presenting the Empress FireCrotch, the Ninth. The Empress isn't really an empress, she just thinks she is and the rest of the household addresses her as such mostly because they don't really care. She helps take care of the dead brush and what not around the edges of the property so I guess she is essentially the gardener for House Hammwallet. She has a bit of a temper which is also why most dragons just call her Empress if that's what she wants. Oddly, since she came to the plantation there has also been an outbreak of a particularly vicious strain of DragonItch.
The Doctor arrived with the Empress. The plantation isn't sure how long they have travelled together or even if the really do travel together. The Doctor doesn't talk much but often mentions confidentiality. The rest of the household is pretty sure she is just hiding secrets but aren't pushing the issue because of the sudden great need for a doctor.
Yesterday a carnival arrived in town. All the ladies (except for MailORderBride and MailOrderMammasan, they were afraid of the clowns) went to see the freakshow. Miss Honeypot feel in love with the antics of the dwarf. It might be a heretofore unknown fetish but no one will ask. Miss Honeypot has a heavy whip hand. A guest bedroom in the Family cave is now occupied by Miss Honeypot's new "constant companion." Meet Jilly Jailbait.
Sorceress Snatch doesn't live on the plantation. In fact no one has seen her or knows her. She arrived in the night, cast a spell on Ponannie, and left, impregnated. She has since laid her egg and it will be a water dragon. Snatch wants an apprentice but she is a loner, not a lover. She wants no relationships and desires no entanglements. She therefore travels the world, perfecting her spells and having eggs as often as she can. She wants a child just like herself. Until she can get an orange egg, she will keep trying. She will also keep abandoning the "misfit eggs" that are produced.
The sky above the plantation has sprouted wings! Skywings to be exact, a mated couple have shown up. Cootchie Snorcher hired them for air defense but it doesn't really seem to be doing much since they have a tendency toward aerial acrobatics more than guarding flights. Miss Honeypot doesn't really mind, she likes having a daily air dance show!
Meet Aeolabia Majora
and
Aeolabia Minora
