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Headlines You Don't See Every Day (outside of Florida)

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Any headline would suffice, but chalk this one up to 'crazy shit you don't see everyday...or ever'.
 
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kinch said:
Local Juggalo sentenced to prison for pinky amputation
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Schrap used a machete to make a deep cut in the woman’s arm and drank the blood from the cut. Later, someone brought up the idea of cutting off someone’s finger, and the woman volunteered her pinky. She said she was not using drugs or alcohol when this happened. Her right pinky finger was amputated to the palm of her hand, causing her to bleed profusely. They attempted to cauterize the wound with a blow torch. When she went to her boyfriend’s house, the boyfriend’s mother convinced her to go to the emergency room,
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Emergency room, my ass. They needed to take her to a damned asylum. Why is the guy going to jail? This is one half-step away from self-inflicted.
 
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I don't know why I'm so interested in this story and the resulting surgery.

Woman Resigned to Being Plump Learns She had 140-lb. Tumor

http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news...Learns-she-had-140-pound-Tumor-415892593.html

Mary Clancey said she was resigned to being a "fat little old lady." Over 15 years, she kept getting bigger despite dieting. But with her health deteriorating, her son persuaded her to go to the hospital.

What doctors found astounded them: A cyst in one of her ovaries had grown into a 140-pound tumor.
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NJ-Buckeye said:
Some of you guys are really gonna be pissed


Sex with animals in Ohio officially illegal starting today
http://www.daytondailynews.com/news/local-govt--politics/sex-with-animals-ohio-officially-illegal-starting-today/2BsXTX901ljLjzWQ6BXdMN/
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1a5rd3y.png
 
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Incredibly loud sex interrupts Florida tennis match

http://nypost.com/2017/04/19/incredibly-loud-sex-interrupts-florida-tennis-match/

The real action at a Florida tennis match took place off the court.

As Frances Tiafoe and Mitchell Krueger competed in the Sarasota Open on Tuesday night, their match was interrupted by a couple having sex across the way.

“Well, that is the most bizarre situation,” announcer Mike Cation said on the broadcast. “I don’t know how to put this, folks, but somebody’s phone is going off in the stands … and it was an adult video.”

Cation later confirmed porn wasn’t the culprit.

“Nope, that’s not a phone. That is … that’s an apartment across the lake,” he said. “Well, everyone was looking around to see where that was coming from and finally, figure out, that wasn’t a video. At least somebody’s having a good night.”

While spectators erupted with laughter in the stands, Tiafoe shouted, “It can’t be that good!”

Tiafoe, one of America’s top young talents, won the match in straight sets, 6-3, 6-2.
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Arkansas inmate convulses during execution, prompting calls for investigations

doesn't really belong here... but I have an idea
why not just give these guys high grade heroin
we know that will kill you.. without convulsions
 
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NJ-Buckeye said:
Arkansas inmate convulses during execution, prompting calls for investigations

doesn't really belong here... but I have an idea
why not just give these guys high grade heroin
we know that will kill you.. without convulsions
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Large caliber bullet creating a trench through the brain is the most tried and true method out there

some things just don't need to try and be improved on
 
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