How Do You Handle Worthless In-Laws

[muffler dragon]

So you DO lisp? :p

Only in Spanish. But, yes, it will make your asshole pucker.

 

[DubCoffman62]

So you DO lisp? :p

I love the Castellano lisp.

 

[Flocka]

Since this thread has turned into a much better topic, I'll share some of the slang that I was exposed to the last time I went to Monterrey.

"Que pitos contigo?" - Heard this one while walking downtown at night with a colleague. We walk by a bar that's playing mariachi music, and this taxi stops in front of us. Three young adults/highschoolers get out of taxi. One of the girls says, "Let's go in there. They're playing Salsa music.". The male in the bunch goes, "Que pitos contigo? That's not salsa music. Took my fluent spanish speaking colleague a few minutes to figure out what the phrase meant.

"Mamon." I travel to Mexico for business. We go to this potential customer who makes high-end furniture. Now, the backstory to this story is that I have both ears pierced. Those who travel to Mexico will, I presume, understand where I'm going with this. Anyway... I'm looking at some furniture that just got finished with my coatings. I have my safety glasses on my forehead so that I can see clearer. This guy comes up to me, and his Spanish is too fast for me to understand. However, I see him gesture to his ears as though he's talking about my earrings. This makes me think of another experience I've had, and I tell him. "No, no, no... estoy casado. No punjale." (forgive me if I'm misspelling it). He looks at me all perplexed. I then tell him who I'm there with, and we go over. Long story short, this cat is the site HSE manager, and he wanted me to wear my safety glasses, safety shoes, and remove all my jewelry. The gentleman that my colleague and I are visiting tells me what this guy wanted. And then tells me that the next time I see the HSE manager, I should say, "Hola Carlos, mamon!" Needless to say, I would not have been allowed back at the site if I did.

"Esta padre." Apparently, this is the younger generation's version of "the bomb". It was used one night when asking if a particular dining establishment was any good.

Mamon is a good one that I'm pretty sure is only used in Mexico.

Padre has been around for awhile and is pretty much the closest equivalent to cool, or chill in Mexico.

Never heard the first one in Mexico before. With that being said, I love Monterrey. Definitely my favorite place in Mexico.

 

[Crump's brother]

Solo busco a una culona a quien le guste hacer las mamadas.

Note the use of the subjunctive mood. Since I'm not sure if a large-assed girl exists that enjoys giving blowjobs, I must use the subjunctive "guste".

I could discuss Spanish grammar all day...

 

[DubCoffman62]

Since this thread has turned into a much better topic, I'll share some of the slang that I was exposed to the last time I went to Monterrey.

"Que pitos contigo?" - Heard this one while walking downtown at night with a colleague. We walk by a bar that's playing mariachi music, and this taxi stops in front of us. Three young adults/highschoolers get out of taxi. One of the girls says, "Let's go in there. They're playing Salsa music.". The male in the bunch goes, "Que pitos contigo? That's not salsa music. Took my fluent spanish speaking colleague a few minutes to figure out what the phrase meant.

"Mamon." I travel to Mexico for business. We go to this potential customer who makes high-end furniture. Now, the backstory to this story is that I have both ears pierced. Those who travel to Mexico will, I presume, understand where I'm going with this. Anyway... I'm looking at some furniture that just got finished with my coatings. I have my safety glasses on my forehead so that I can see clearer. This guy comes up to me, and his Spanish is too fast for me to understand. However, I see him gesture to his ears as though he's talking about my earrings. This makes me think of another experience I've had, and I tell him. "No, no, no... estoy casado. No punjale." (forgive me if I'm misspelling it). He looks at me all perplexed. I then tell him who I'm there with, and we go over. Long story short, this cat is the site HSE manager, and he wanted me to wear my safety glasses, safety shoes, and remove all my jewelry. The gentleman that my colleague and I are visiting tells me what this guy wanted. And then tells me that the next time I see the HSE manager, I should say, "Hola Carlos, mamon!" Needless to say, I would not have been allowed back at the site if I did.

"Esta padre." Apparently, this is the younger generation's version of "the bomb". It was used one night when asking if a particular dining establishment was any good.

I've never heard "que pitos contigo" although just from the context I can guess what it is. Pito is a whistle but it can also be slang for penis. Mamon is a pretty common word for cocksucker, I hear it frequently. Punyal (forgive me for not using the enye) is more common in southern Mexico, especially Mexico City. Most northeners that I know use "joto". I've never heard "esta padre" used by anyone. Usually when something is "the bomb" I hear chingon or chido by the older ones.

 

[muffler dragon]

Mamon is a good one that I'm pretty sure is only used in Mexico.

Just flows off the lips soooooo well. I like putting it with "que pitos contigo" and slinging it at my friends. :)

Padre has been around for awhile and is pretty much the closest equivalent to cool, or chill in Mexico.

That's what we deduced.

Never heard the first one in Mexico before. With that being said, I love Monterrey. Definitely my favorite place in Mexico.

I dig Monterrey. Definitely gets a rep for all the issues, but I thought it was a great town. Hopefully, I'll be going back this month or this summer some time. I've been to Beirut (err... TJ), Aguascalientes, and flown out of Leon. I'll be heading to La Cuidad de Mexico this summer as well, I believe. All business, but I enjoy it.

I've never heard "que pitos contigo" although just from the context I can guess what it is. Pito is a whistle but it can also be slang for penis. Mamon is a pretty common word for cocksucker, I hear it frequently. Punyal (forgive me for not using the enye) is more common in southern Mexico, especially Mexico City. Most northeners that I know use "joto". I've never heard "esta padre" used by anyone. Usually when something is "the bomb" I hear chingon or chido by the older ones.

Good stuff.

I should note that the Mexicans loved my Vibram's Bikilas. I'd love to be shoe retailer selling those there.

 

[Flocka]

I dig Monterrey. Definitely gets a rep for all the issues, but I thought it was a great town. Hopefully, I'll be going back this month or this summer some time. I've been to Beirut (err... TJ), Aguascalientes, and flown out of Leon. I'll be heading to La Cuidad de Mexico this summer as well, I believe. All business, but I enjoy it.

I have been to MC, Monterrey, Monclova, Piedras Negras, TJ, some ranches in the middle of nowhere and pretty much all of the southern tourist spots on both side, but with the exception of the tourist spots I have always been with a friend of mine from Monclova who has absolutely insane money so we have always have a mini convoy and have never had any issues at all.

I like the nightlife in Monterrey more than MC, but MC has some stunning architecture.

 

[muffler dragon]

I have been to MC, Monterrey, Monclova, Piedras Negras, TJ, some ranches in the middle of nowhere and pretty much all of the southern tourist spots on both side, but with the exception of the tourist spots I have always been with a friend of mine from Monclova who has absolutely insane money so we have always have a mini convoy and have never had any issues at all.

I like the nightlife in Monterrey more than MC, but MC has some stunning architecture.

I'm sure you've seen it. But it blew my mind that the hotel in downtown Monterrey (looks like a museum) had something bumping every night. The town just parties every single night.

Personally, I actually believe that I could enjoy living in Mexico. However, that sometimes dissipates when I think about a truck I saw last time down. It said, "Hielo Cuidado" on the side. Fascinating to think of the things that I take for granted that don't exist down there.

 

[DubCoffman62]

I'm sure you've seen it. But it blew my mind that the hotel in downtown Monterrey (looks like a museum) had something bumping every night. The town just parties every single night.

Personally, I actually believe that I could enjoy living in Mexico. However, that sometimes dissipates when I think about a truck I saw last time down. It said, "Hielo Cuidado" on the side. Fascinating to think of the things that I take for granted that don't exist down there.

I was in Cabo once and my room was across the street from the local market. I woke up early one morning and watched a truck arrive dragging a couple of dead pigs behind it to be butchered.

 

[muffler dragon]

I was in Cabo once and my room was across the street from the local market. I woke up early one morning and watched a truck arrive dragging a couple of dead pigs behind it to be butchered.

Nothing like fresh bacon!

 

[DubCoffman62]

Nothing like fresh bacon!

and road tenderized

 

[DubCoffman62]

Just flows off the lips soooooo well. I like putting it with "que pitos contigo" and slinging it at my friends. :)



That's what we deduced.



I dig Monterrey. Definitely gets a rep for all the issues, but I thought it was a great town. Hopefully, I'll be going back this month or this summer some time. I've been to Beirut (err... TJ), Aguascalientes, and flown out of Leon. I'll be heading to La Cuidad de Mexico this summer as well, I believe. All business, but I enjoy it.



Good stuff.

I should note that the Mexicans loved my Vibram's Bikilas. I'd love to be shoe retailer selling those there.

Here's a little more slang for you, stuff that's pretty common that you may hear sometime.
Vieja-As you probably know it means old or elderly woman but it's considered derogatory and an older woman should always be referred to as una senora. However, I do occasionally hear men refer to their wife as mi vieja just like one of us would refer to our wife as "my old lady".It's also used to refer to someone who gossips, much like chismoso. Worse than that yet it's used to refer to a promiscuous woman or a prostitute. A lot of time they'll refer to a prostitute as una vieja bomba.

Here's some colorful interjections that they may use like shit!, damn!, fuck!. The ones that I often hear are chinga!, a la chingada!, en la madre!, a la verga! and hijo de la chingada! Mexico doesn't have many words that are taboo to say in mixed company but verga is one of them. The others you could probably say without consequence but verga could get you in lots of trouble, depending on your company. It's considered la madre de groserias. It's most common uses are probably vete a la verga (get out of here), me llevo la verga (I'm pissed off) and just plain old a la verga ( a general expression of displeasure about something).

Fuck- If you look in a English-Spanish dictionary you'll probably see chingar or joder as the translation but they're rarely used to refer to actual sex. I mostly hear coger or agarrar, both meaning to grab or get a hold of something. Usually chingar is used in the context of "don't fuck with me" no me chingues! or as I said earlier as an interjection like chinga! or a la chingada! As far as joder goes I usually hear that used to refer to someone who's fucked, out of luck or in a bad spot like estoy jodido! (I'm fucked!) or someone who likes to fuck with people es jodioso (he's a fucker).

Calling someone stupid- You've probably found out that Mexicans don't take lightly having their intelligence put into doubt. I've learned to tread lightly around this subject. Calling someone pendejo or estupido can be an unforgivable sin amongst them. If you must joke about someone doing something stupid I'd suggest you use baboso which means someone is drooling stupid but is usually used in jest. The most polite form would probably be tonto no seas tonto (don't be foolish). Tonterias and pendejadas are the two words most commonly used to describe foolishness or horse play.

You've probably found that most Mexicans are assmen. They like them some big ass. I'm sure that you and also most of the English speaking world know culo, culona (big ass), cola (tail) and nalgas (buttocks). Here's a few that I've heard that may not be as commonly known. There's cantinas (I was told that the reason they can be refered to this is because if you go to a cantina there's lots of farting and farts come from between two buttcheeks), pedoro (fart hole) and maquina de churros (churro maker since churro is also slang for a turd).

Here's just a few more off of the top of my head.

Alacran-It's a scorpion but it's used to refer to a backstabber because a scorpion can smile in your face while it's tail is stinging you in the back.

Barbero and Lambiscon- You've probably heard these too referring to brown nosers. Lambiscon I understand because that's a licker but I've never understood the use of barbero since all that means is barber.

Cocodrilo- Someone who likes to go down on a woman. I guess they call it that because when a crocodile peeks it's head out of the water you just see him from the eyes up, much like a woman would see a man going down on her.

Calling a woman a bitch- I'm not so sure there's a literal translation here. I've heard perra used before but usually referring to a promiscuous woman and not like we'd use bitch. What we'd think of as "she's a bitch!" they normally use tacana (with an enye over the n making it sound like tacanya), mesquina (which also means stingy) or plain old mala (evil, bad or whatever). I've had situations where Mexican women thought they were being called puta because some gringo called them a bitch but it's not the same thing.

Buey and cabron- I'm sure you've heard these too. Buey is literally a steer while cabron is a male goat and both are used to refer to men who have woman that cheat on them. They can also be used differently. Buey can be used like "dude" between friends. Cabron can be used like "cool" or "good" and also in a negative sense ese cabron no me pago.

One more and I have to go.

Mayate- Usually referring to someone who like to screw others in the ass. It's also used to refer to blacks by some.

 

[muffler dragon]

Here's a little more slang for you, stuff that's pretty common that you may hear sometime.
Vieja-As you probably know it means old or elderly woman but it's considered derogatory and an older woman should always be referred to as una senora. However, I do occasionally hear men refer to their wife as mi vieja just like one of us would refer to our wife as "my old lady".It's also used to refer to someone who gossips, much like chismoso. Worse than that yet it's used to refer to a promiscuous woman or a prostitute. A lot of time they'll refer to a prostitute as una vieja bomba.

Had no clue.

Here's some colorful interjections that they may use like shit!, damn!, fuck!. The ones that I often hear are chinga!, a la chingada!, en la madre!, a la verga! and hijo de la chingada! Mexico doesn't have many words that are taboo to say in mixed company but verga is one of them. The others you could probably say without consequence but verga could get you in lots of trouble, depending on your company. It's considered la madre de groserias. It's most common uses are probably vete a la verga (get out of here), me llevo la verga (I'm pissed off) and just plain old a la verga ( a general expression of displeasure about something).

Only familiar with the emboldened.

Fuck- If you look in a English-Spanish dictionary you'll probably see chingar or joder as the translation but they're rarely used to refer to actual sex. I mostly hear coger or agarrar, both meaning to grab or get a hold of something. Usually chingar is used in the context of "don't fuck with me" no me chingues! or as I said earlier as an interjection like chinga! or a la chingada! As far as joder goes I usually hear that used to refer to someone who's fucked, out of luck or in a bad spot like estoy jodido! (I'm fucked!) or someone who likes to fuck with people es jodioso (he's a fucker).

So universal!!!

Calling someone stupid- You've probably found out that Mexicans don't take lightly having their intelligence put into doubt. I've learned to tread lightly around this subject. Calling someone pendejo or estupido can be an unforgivable sin amongst them. If you must joke about someone doing something stupid I'd suggest you use baboso which means someone is drooling stupid but is usually used in jest. The most polite form would probably be tonto no seas tonto (don't be foolish). Tonterias and pendejadas are the two words most commonly used to describe foolishness or horse play.

Since I'm normally on buisiness, I've never considered these; but it's good to know. I am familiar with tonto though.

Quick anecdote: my first time in Beirut (TJ), we're heading back to the main US-Mexico station. My buddy is hauling it in his p.o.s. truck at around 55-60. We look up at the "intersection" (used very loosely) ahead, and notice that there is this car creeping perpendicularly from right to left across all three lanes heading his way. My buddy is trying to determine what lane he should hit, because we're not going to have time to stop/slow down due to the amount of traffic. When all of a sudden, this jackwagon to the right of us guns it and decides to come over into our lane right as we're avoiding the car that's creeping. How the hell we missed an all-time collision is beyond me, but my buddy screams at the top of his lungs, "TONTO!!!!" at the idiots as we're about to die. I had no idea what that word meant at the time. But I've wondered since if it's derogatory towards Native Americans as well since that was the Lone Ranger's sidekick. This experience showed me that IF I ever take my wife to TJ (which ain't likely in the slightest), I'm just going to tell her to hide her eyes and stay quiet. I'll get us out of there, but she's not going to enjoy the ride.

You've probably found that most Mexicans are assmen. They like them some big ass. I'm sure that you and also most of the English speaking world know culo, culona (big ass), cola (tail) and nalgas (buttocks). Here's a few that I've heard that may not be as commonly known. There's cantinas (I was told that the reason they can be refered to this is because if you go to a cantina there's lots of farting and farts come from between two buttcheeks), pedoro (fart hole) and maquina de churros (churro maker since churro is also slang for a turd).

Yeah... I know they have a fascination with big assed women. I personally like "nalgas".

Here's just a few more off of the top of my head.

Alacran-It's a scorpion but it's used to refer to a backstabber because a scorpion can smile in your face while it's tail is stinging you in the back.

Barbero and Lambiscon- You've probably heard these too referring to brown nosers. Lambiscon I understand because that's a licker but I've never understood the use of barbero since all that means is barber.

Cocodrilo- Someone who likes to go down on a woman. I guess they call it that because when a crocodile peeks it's head out of the water you just see him from the eyes up, much like a woman would see a man going down on her.

Calling a woman a bitch- I'm not so sure there's a literal translation here. I've heard perra used before but usually referring to a promiscuous woman and not like we'd use bitch. What we'd think of as "she's a bitch!" they normally use tacana (with an enye over the n making it sound like tacanya), mesquina (which also means stingy) or plain old mala (evil, bad or whatever). I've had situations where Mexican women thought they were being called puta because some gringo called them a bitch but it's not the same thing.

Buey and cabron- I'm sure you've heard these too. Buey is literally a steer while cabron is a male goat and both are used to refer to men who have woman that cheat on them. They can also be used differently. Buey can be used like "dude" between friends. Cabron can be used like "cool" or "good" and also in a negative sense ese cabron no me pago.

One more and I have to go.

Mayate- Usually referring to someone who like to screw others in the ass. It's also used to refer to blacks by some.

Good stuff.

Another couple that I've been told in my travels are:

"Camera Gue", and that in Monterrey, you can call complete strangers, "Mike" to get their attention.

 

[Crump's brother]

On the whole coger thing: I always knew coger as "to catch", never knowing it also meant "to fuck". Apparently, neither did my friend. We were just outside of Quito when he asked a local, "donde podria coger el autobus?". The guy replied in a confused manner, "en el tubo de escape??".

Also, the worst thing you can call an Ecuadorian is "indio". Vete a la verga, indio! is enough to start a fight. Seriously.

More filth to follow.

 

[muffler dragon]

I don't remember... is "sirote" used by Salvadoreans or is it used to describe them?