So I was to the point that I was going to need a break from the same line of characters, but I guess luckily for me I had some time this weekend at night, and the next 2 movies in Winslow’s posted ordered list were Guardians of the Galaxy 1 and 2, which have all new characters and apparently nothing to do with the other movies thus far. So I said screw it, why not check them out. Now, going into these movies, I only knew the characters at all because of my son’s Learn to Read books, which basically introduce them but do little else. I have to say, going in, I felt like I was going to absolutely hate these. Yes, I’ve seen the rave reviews, especially of the first one. And there were 2 huge casting pluses: Michael Rooker and Sean Gunn. But…then we have the main group: Chris Pratt, who was so bad in Jurassic World that I wanted to climb through the screen and beat the shit out of him; Zoe Saldana, who has it going on as the Queen of Cosplay roles but I can’t say much for her acting; a walking tree; a talking rodent; and Dave Bautista, whose acting sucked hard in WWE, where I hated watching him for years. So…what could go wrong? Still, I figured what the hell, I’ll give it a shot, so off I went.
Guardians of the Galaxy: So, let me preface by saying that collectively both movies get an eleventy-billion for the soundtracks…any movies that feature Looking Glass and Lake Shore Drive can pry the money out of my warm living hands. However…that also led to my overall impression of these movies, which is they are…out there. I mean even for Comic movies, or out there movies, these are out there. Like, the dancing, the humor, the craziness…out there. Additional casting pluses included Glen Close and Djimon Hounsou, along with the returning Benicio Del Toro as the Collector. And I don’t know who John C. Reilly is able to fuck to get into every single movie, but here he was again, lol. As a movie, I mean…I don’t know what to say about it. First and foremost, I was certainly entertained. This entire story was just…strange. Other than a few things, I am not really sure how this fits into the universe we’ve been watching, temporally or locationally. I will say this movie did do 2 important things, and those were a) to explain a bit more about the Infinity Stones, and b) establish Thanos as the Grade A, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy villain, which was kind of hinted at in the post-credits scene of the first Thor (I think it was). The character interactions were…also strange. The sister thing ended up being a more interesting dynamic in the second movie, but in this one it was kind of shallow. We have no real idea where Rocket or Groot come from or any of their backstory. Zoe Saldana is hotter than blue lightening as Gamora, and she did have some of that unstated sexual tension thing with Quill that is a part of, like, every movie ever in some form or fashion, so there was that. Ronan could have been interesting, I think the whole Ronan/Thanos thing could have been something they really explored over 2 movies, but they kind of chose to just do what they did. Rooker was perfect, he just gets these kind of roles (similar to Earle on TWD), and it seems like he was born for them. Batista’s acting was, predictably, terrible, but given the character, it actually works. I am disappointed they really haven’t used del Toro’s talents or really explored much with the Collector, I’d like to see more of him if they’re going to keep going back to him. The action was good, there was some funny dialogue. I give it a better grade than Hulk or Thor, though I don’t really think it rises to the level of series-best in my estimation because it was just so…odd.
Guardians of the Galaxy 2: Yeah, this one was even weirder. I mean, yeah. We got more info on who Quill is, where he comes from, how he was made, what he can do, and we got more info on the sister dynamic and a bit more exploration of…Rocket…which was, OK I guess. Kurt Russell is always in these types of roles it seems, and while I like him, I thought he was much better in, say, the recent Christmas movie than this one. Stallone was just kind of eh, and I wasn’t really feeling the Oscar Statue people as villains. And they found a way to squeeze in Ving Rhames, because of course they did. Most of these cameos and casting decisions felt more forced to be honest. As an action movie this was perfectly acceptable, although I just didn’t like the story or the script as much with this one, and I feel like they didn’t really reveal a lot about the wider universe in this story, although I guess we figure out what a Celestial is to a certain extent, before they somehow destroy him. I have to say most of this move didn’t really enthrall me as much as the first one did until the end, when I thought the way they handled Rooker’s funeral scenes perfectly. Not only is he an amazing actor, but his was one of the more interesting characters (maybe the most) in this arc due to his depth and conflicted nature, and his loss will be felt strongly when and if they ever make GotG 3. It is somewhat disappointing to hear that the director is such a weird fuck that they fired him before he could direct the third one. He strikes me as a dude who looks at things his own way, like a David Lynch, so anyone trying to reproduce the dynamics in play here will likely never be able to reproduce it, so it will have to go in a whole new direction, which could be good or outright terrible. Not to mention it will delay the movie by 2-4 years, and by then the GotG might have run their course. Overall the whole villain thing didn’t do it for me, baby Groot was more Phantom Menace than anything else, and the whole thing between Bautista and the weird lady with the antenna was just…cruel in an unentertaining way. I don’t think Dave was all that happy with how they took his character either. Anyway, this one was more in the average category until the end, when it was sharply redeemed by the ending, at least to a certain extent.
Over halfway home.
1. Marvel’s Avengers (5/5)
2. Black Panther (5/5)
3. Captain America: The First Avenger (4.5/5)
4. Iron Man (4.5/5)
5. Guardians of the Galaxy (4/5)
6. Guardians of the Galaxy 2 (3.5/5)
7. Thor (3.5/5)
8. Incredible Hulk (3/5)
9. Iron Man III (2.5/5)
10. Iron Man II (2.5/5)
11. Thor: Dark World (2/5)
