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Parent dying or dead?

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PrincetonBuckeye;806627; said:
Is your parent or parents dead or dying?



My dad the other day had info from his cardiologist that only 25% of heart is working.......He is a VERY STRONG man. (mentally)....he won't talk about death, but has to have an internal defibullator (in 2 weeks) too keep him alive....My problem is that I, myself, am not scared of death...but if I lose my dad I don't know what I'm going to do....He is only 62...I was looking forward to another 20 years of him but it looks like I might not see at Christmas....He is my hero!!!


As a medical professional I still don't know how to deal with this crap.....

If you remember he had a stroke in Jan....

What do I do?????
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What do you do? Give me a break. First off, find a better place than an internet message board to find solutions to life's alleged troubles. Second, quit feeling so f'ing sorry for yourself. Make sure your dad gets the best care possible, spend some quality time with him, be thankful you still have a parent around, and if he dies you go on with your life and remember him fondly. There are a hell of a lot of people out there who have lost loved ones much earlier in life and in manners that are far worse than this.
 
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Keeping you, your father and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Lots of good suggestions in this thread, not much more I can add. Obviously you can't pay your father back for the many things he's done for you. However, you do have the opportunity to "pay it forward". I have found this to be the best way (often the only way) to honor those that have given so much of themselves.
 
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As for you PB... much good advice to be taken here about getting your head straight as I am sure that you and your father's other doctors are doing all they can for him medically. I lost my grandfather recently. He was one of greatest men I have ever known and we were really close. So close that when they presented my grandmother with the flag that was over his coffin, she gave it to me. My grandfather wanted to go to see an Ohio State football game in person this past season, so I made arrangements to get him down here and get seats in the disability section. (Thanks to some help from some people on this message board.) As fall started he began to decline quickly and we never got a chance to go to that game together. He got worse and worse until finally a few days before the Michigan game, he passed. So the scUM game, we got to watch together. I cried my eyes out after that game and it was probably the hardest part I had to deal with. So my advice is this... Don't let that happen to you. Do all the things that you want to do with your dad NOW. Even if his medical treatment goes well and his health gets better. (I pray that is the case.) Don't wait until it is too late to do the things that are important to both of you, with your dad. God Bless and let your dad know he has people he doesn't even know praying for him.
 
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I've had my share of loved ones endure and succumb to horrible diseases. The year an a half my dad spent battling brain cancer sucked for everyone, but at no point did I ever wonder, "What do I do?" and feel sorry for myself. Like I noted before, I did my best to ensure he received the best care possible and spent as much time with him as I could.
 
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StooGrimson;807292; said:
What do you do? Give me a break. First off, find a better place than an internet message board to find solutions to life's alleged troubles. Second, quit feeling so f'ing sorry for yourself. Make sure your dad gets the best care possible, spend some quality time with him, be thankful you still have a parent around, and if he dies you go on with your life and remember him fondly. There are a hell of a lot of people out there who have lost loved ones much earlier in life and in manners that are far worse than this.
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:bow:

Post of the year. Easy to hallow in self pity. hard to actually do something constructive about it. Kudos, Stoo.
 
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To be frank. The natural order of things is for the child to bury the parent and not the other way around.

That being said, I think my mother is a prime example of how to look at this type of difficult situation.

Mom has a degenerative nerve disease that will take her life. It eats at her a little bit every year. On top of that in the winter of 2001 she suffered in succession a brain stroke then significant bleeding in her skull (partially as a result of the blood thinners administered for her stroke) She literally required emergency brain surgery to survive. But survive she did.

She is a tough SOB, and has chosen to do what she can to either beat her degenerative disease for herself or for others. She volunteers herself as a guinea pig for every experimental treatment for said disease. She pushes her therapy as much as possible. In her toughest moments, she laughs and smiles. This attitude helps her. I am pretty damn sure if we all moped about how bad her situation was, it would not help her one bit. This is what you can do for your father.
 
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