Ryan Mallett (R.I.P.)

[SparkyOSU]

Ryan Mallet used his sixth sense to tell me to write about his sixth sense.

His first five senses are: 1-5. Extreme Football Skills

 

[Big Papa]

Ryan Mallett can go to a McDonald's ANYTIME and get a McRib.

Lucky bastard.

 

[RugbyBuck]

Ryan Mallet can suck a golf ball through a gardenhose.

He's not gay, though. Not really, I don't think. He is a Vulvarene, though. Hmm, Michigan still sucks.

 

[Ginn4Heisman20]

Ryan Mallett has beaten both the Irresistible Force and the Immovable Object......with one hand tied behind his back.

I heard he actually stiff armed the Irresistible Force while throwing the Immovable Object 70 Yards... all from one knee!

 

[Zurp]

all from one knee!

Despite his knee touching the ground, the referees were too mesmerized by his poetic throwing motion to declare him "down."

 

[exhawg]

If Ryan Mallet and Chuck Norris were ever to meet it would cause an explosion that would destroy the universe.

 

[EastFourteenth]

Ryan Mallett once ate a 90 oz. steak in an hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with the waitress.

 

[SNIPER26]

Ryan Mallett does NOT love Raymond.
Ryan Mallett is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
Hellen Keller's favorite color is Ryan Mallett
Ryan Mallett did, in fact, build Rome in a day.
When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Ryan Mallett halloween costume he was wearing.

 

[Bleed S & G]

great idea for a thread the best part will be when we pull this out in a few years after mallet has a 0 for record against the bucks

 

[Romanowski]

In a 15 minute span, Ryan Mallett beat Contra without 30 lives using only his toes, conquered Mike Tyson's Punchout with his eyes closed, and used his tongue to wipe his own ass...

on a serious note, Ryan Mallett once farted and it put my dad in the hospital

fucking stud yo...

 

[Zurp]

Ryan Mallett once farted and it put my dad in the hospital

Soon after, Ryan Mallett went to the hospital, farted, and cured everyone in there from whatever he was suffering from. The hospital is currently suing Ryan Mallett for stealing their customers/patients.

 

[Buckeyeskickbuttocks]

Ryan Mallett came over, ate all the food in my fridge and kicked my dog. I paid him to do it.

 

[matcar]

This year, at the NFL Hall of Fame ceremonies, it was decided that the inducties would be honored by receiving a bust of Ryan Mallett (who was awarded the Lifetime Acheivement Award this year). From now on, all inducties will so honored with the bust of Sir Ryan Mallett.

You can just see the smug look on Michael Irvin's face as he gets his Mallett bust...sheesh, what a jerk!

 

[Ginn4Heisman]

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Ryan Mallett turned that wine into beer.

Ryan Mallett once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Ryan Mallett won by 5.

Ryan Mallett once had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

 

[Fungo Squiggly]

Ryan Mallett created a "Legend of" thread that was both original and humorous.